Top Gun: Impossible To Land

When looking through a pile of old NES games, the last game I ever want to see Top Gun.  It is indicative of an owner that had no taste in games, and would likely purchase any licensed schlock that was released for the popular console, and generally lowers any expectations I might have had for the collection.  There are some excuses for owning the game, like receiving it for free or writing a blog about playing awful games, and sadly I fall into both of those categories.  It is games like this that defy the entire idea of a Nintendo Seal of Quality.

Conversations about the game invariably go like this:  “Hey, Top Gun, that game sucks.”  “Yeah, it is impossible to land.”  And really, that is all I can say about the game.  There are two parts of the game, which are dogfights and landing.  It is hard to shoot down the other fighter jets is difficult because the controls are sluggish and it is tough to see them, let alone drawing down on them. Even with the instrumentation that takes up half the screen, it is quite difficult to tell what is going on most of the time.

Of course, sub-par shooting could have been forgiven, and people may have been able to forget the game entirely if it weren't for the godawful landing portion of the game.  Even if the player does really well during the missions, and is perfectly capable of shooting down every other thing in the sky, it doesn't mean shit if the jet doesn't get back to the aircraft carrier.  It makes logical sense, but it is usually something that is relegated to something the player doesn't have to actually control, which seems to be the right call because it is extremely difficult.

There are just orders being flashed on the screen, a quickly approaching sprite of an aircraft carrier, and  a very poor sense of where the plane is in relation to the carrier.  Supposedly there are four missions to the game, but I don't think I've ever met anyone that has seen past the landing portion of the first one, so if there are any readers out there that have landed in Top Gun for NES, please leave me comment or email me or something. 1987 Konami, I am so disappointed in you.